Scooter Chronicles

So it’s time to reveal my answers to the most recent edition of “Ask Scooter Anything”. As in the past, my answers are not made to offend anyone. They are my opinions, and only that. Not the truth. Except for those times when I am talking about my past, because those things actually happened, or my family. Oh, and my opinions of Gary Bettman, as always, should be universally excepted as pure fact.

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My brother Brian asked the following questions:

What does the “K” in K-Mart stand for?

You grew up in Detroit and don’t know this? I find that amazing. Either that or you are testing me. The “K” stands for Kresge (Sebastian S. Kresge to be exact), the founder of K-Mart and S. S. Kresge’s Five and Dime.

How many interstate highways are there in Hawaii? (Yes there is an actual answer to this one.)

I was assuming one. Then I looked it up. There are supposedly three of them: H-1, H-2, and H-3. And as I am sure most would guess, they have some of the most beautiful scenery of any Interstate.

How many items are in your fridge that you need to throw away but are still there?

I am not sure. My Mother-In-Law keeps a pretty good eye on those things. When Marcia and I had our own places, it usually ranged between one and three.

Why is most road kill on the side of the road or between the lanes? Shouldn’t they be right in line with the normal tire line?

I am going to go with momentum here. Usually when an animal gets hit, it’s because it darted out onto the road and didn’t leave the driver enough warning that it was doing it. Therefore when it gets hit, the momentum it had gained carries it further. Also the force of the moving vehicle helps propel it either way, so long as it doesn’t take a direct hit from one of the tires. But again, those little animals are fast. It’s all about momentum.

Why do stores have signs that say “No shirt, No shoes, No service”? Are they ok with you coming in with no pants?

I am sure there have been a few would-be customers to places like 7-Eleven who have used that as an argument. Though it would seem to come from the point of view that few wonder out without pants. Either that or typical guys are hoping that young co-eds will come in with a cut-off t-shirt, flip-flops, and a bikini bottom. But that’s just speculation on my part.

If your walking thru the forest and you see an endangered species eating an endangered plant, what do you do?

I am not sure. But it would be fun to take a picture of it and send it to the plant activists.

What golfer do you think has the best chance to knock Tiger Woods off his game being that Phil Mickelson hasn’t been able to do so?

I don’t think anyone currently on the tour can. Sure, someone might beat him in a single tournament, but not consistently. I think he is that much better then everyone else. It is going to take Tiger getting more interested in being a father and husband and not concentrating on his own game (though I don’t see him losing any focus), or some “prodigy” like Tiger himself (and I don’t think there are any up and coming and not on the tour yet).

What do you think of Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s new ride? Is it weird seeing the Budweiser car with the number 9 and not 8?

I am not much of a NASCAR fan, but yes, it has been strange seeing Junior prancing around in a jumpsuit that isn’t red with the script “BUD” across the chest. And every time I see the car with #88 on it, I think it’s Dale Jarrett.

He had a nice start though, winning his first two races (even if they were non-point races).

Will steroids dominate the baseball season again this year?

I don’t think so. I think that they will fade away from the headlines for this season at least. The recent report probably is going to scare quite a few from using them, and you will probably see less players testing positive this season. The only thing that could change this is what happens with Barry Bonds considering the reports that he did in fact test positive before. Which I can’t understand how that happened, unless baseball covered it up since he was attracting attention with breaking both home run records.

What if anything can help bring back honesty and integrity back to major league sports?

Good question. And I just realized that the big three all had issues recently. The NBA had it’s referee scandal. The NFL had the Patriots’ “SpyGate”. And then there’s steroids in baseball. (The NHL still is feeling the effects of their canceled season, and still have Bettman at the helm, so they aren’t any better off.)

A side note first, I would like to see what guys like Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon would have to say about it, and not within a one and a half minute time restraint like they have on PTI.

I don’t have any truly good ideas. The steroid issue I think could be tamed even more, but it would cost a lot of money and would be an extreme hassle. That being testing every player every couple of days (or whatever the time frame that it would be that steroids stays in the person’s system). I don’t think MLB is going to be too incredibly hurt by this recent report. Most fans pretty much knew this was going on and still showed up to the ballpark. However, MLB needs to make a change somewhere that more readily can contain any further problems.

The NBA referee scandal seems to have taken a big-time back seat. Was it an isolated incident? Probably. Could it happen again, and be covered up better? Sure can. Heck, it may be happening again as we speak (type). But I am not sure what the NBA could do to get a hold of this.

As for “SpyGate” (I love how Watergate has now given part of it’s name to many other scandals), I think the NFL could come up with some stricter rules that can take care of this. Sure, it will never completely eliminate it. (I think all teams cheat to some extent, the Patriots just got caught.) But they can certainly lessen this type of thing.

Now, would these suggestions/ideas help them. I don’t know. I don’t even think these would cure the problems, much less bring back integrity. But the leagues need to do something. At least being up front about the issues and taking firm, well thought out action. I think that was the biggest problem with “SpyGate” was that it seemed like the NFL just didn’t care or was helping in a cover-up.

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My Uncle Steve asked the following questions:

Should Congress and the FBI be involved in whole steroid issue or the Pats taping issue or should the leagues be allowed to police themselves?

With the issues facing the Patriots and the NFL, I think that needs to remain within the league. I don’t see any need for outside interference. It’s a game issue. Though I think the way the league seems to be handling it is rather shaky at best.

The steroids issue within baseball may need outside help. I am not sure if Congress will help. And I tend to think that Congress should be spending their time making lives better for the country’s citizens, not worrying about baseball. But again, I think MLB needs more help. After all, should people that use steroids and HGH that are not prescribed by their doctors really be using them? So in some ways this goes beyond the game. But I do think that baseball, if it wanted to be bold, could take care of this issue without outside help.

The DH, is it good or bad for baseball?

I personally don’t like the DH rule. Even growing up in an American League town and being a fan of the Tigers. I do see the reasons of why they have kept it. It has prolonged some careers, and therefore the players’ union will probably always back it. It also makes for more of a “power” type game with the ability to add another big bat to the line-up. I do like the fact that there is a difference between the two leagues though.

One other issue is the minor leagues. All the minor leagues use the DH. If I was an NL team, I wouldn’t be happy about that. That means that their pitching prospects are not getting the much needed practice of being a batter and base runner.

I can live with it, but deep down I wish the AL (and the minor leagues) would switch back.

Are there any new “Prog Groups” or anybody doing anything new in Prog music? Or is it the same old people repackaging the same old stuff?

I haven’t bought much of anything new in the last couple of years, or really kept an ear out for anything. I have heard a few bands that I think are doing something different, but there is usually someone that will downplay it. I think it’s mostly people repackaging the same stuff.

Two bands that I have heard in the last five to six years that seem to be pushing the boundaries are Alamaailman Vasarat (which is Finnish for Underworld Hammers or Hammers of the Underworld) and Tuatara.

Alamaailman Vasarat uses brass and strings along with folk music ideals. They use this along though with heavy metal riffs and at times speed metal drumming. It’s not always like that though. Some of their songs are slow moving and almost all horns. But they are very eclectic sounding. I have never heard anything like their music before, or since.

Tuatara is a jazz fusion band of sorts. Quite honestly, I don’t think they are too progressive, meaning actually doing something different. But they blend different types of music in a way that I have never heard before. Two of the band members are well known for their “other” bands, those being Peter Buck of REM and Barrett Martin of the Screaming Trees and Mad Season.

Again, to me they sound like they are pushing the boundaries. Others would disagree.

What do you have against the University of Michigan? You seem to get much joy when ever they lose a game. What’s next, Penn State?

I think that U-M is a great school. They have a great engineering program and their medical school is outstanding, just to name a couple of things. But their athletic programs always seem to have this “holier-than-thou” persona, and a lot of their fans (not all) that I have come across carry that over, too. Especially the football team/fans. If it’s any consolation, Ohio St. and Notre Dame and their fans also have this same persona when it comes to football (and all twelve of the SEC schools as well), and I am in even more glee when they lose then I am about U-M losing. I even root for the Maize and Blue when they play “that school down south”.

How will $4 a gallon gas effect your summer plans?

We will be saving even more money for our trips this summer. We have a good head start already. If we continue to be diligent, it shouldn’t effect us. We are still in the planning stages of our trip to Virginia. We need to get on the ball, because reservations are getting filled up fast. We will be making a trip to Michigan around Mothers’ Day, and try to find another time to go out there as well, maybe in the fall.

Wings, take home the cup, or out in the first round?

I don’t think they will get knocked out in the first round. But I don’t see them making it to the Cup Finals this year. I have a feeling San Jose is going to get themselves geared up more, Anaheim seems to have found their footing again, and Dallas is looking like a world-beater right now. The Stars just might be the team to beat. I don’t think any of the teams in the east are good enough to beat the top teams in the west.

Who is better, Sid the Kid or the Gr8?

Translation for those that need it: Who is a better hockey player, Sidney Crosby or Alexander Ovechkin?

If I was the general manager of a hockey team, and was starting from scratch (or rebuilding), I would choose Crosby first over any player in the league. He’s what, 20 years old, and already won the scoring title last year? He is one of the best all around players, very strong on both sides of the puck, and has mounds of intensity. He also is showing great leadership skills which are very hard to ignore.

If I was just looking for a player to add to an already good team, I would go with Ovechkin. Nobody in the league can light the lamp like he does. His sense of where the goal his, his positioning on the ice, knowing where to be, it’s just amazing. He can skate like the wind, and shoots like a combination of Joe Sakic (wrister) and Brendan Shanahan (slapper). He is amazing.

I think Ovechkin’s highlight reel goals might do more for the league in gaining and retaining fans, but Crosby’s the better player in my book.

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Internet friend Roger asked the following questions:

OK, it occurred to me that I don’t know that much about your childhood. If you’ve blogged about it, it was before I found your corner of the Internet.

I grew up in a small city called Center Line in the metro Detroit area. I say it was a small city because it is a one mile by one and a half mile rectangle. It wasn’t one of those stereotypical “small towns” that you hear about. Center Line’s complete city limits border the city of Warren. We lived a few blocks south of 10 Mile Rd. As Eminem has shown the world through his movie, 8 Mile Rd. is the northern border of the city of Detroit, so we weren’t that far out in the suburbs. The neighborhood is still doing pretty well, too.

How many people were in your household growing up?

There were six of us, until I moved out.

What was the birth order of you and your sibs, and age differentials?

I am the oldest (August 1970). Then my brother Todd (May 1972). My brother Brian was next (January 1975). Then my sister Jennifer (Jenn) (December 1980).

What jobs did your father and mother have outside the home?

My Dad spent a lot of time with a company called (at the time) Detroit Ball Bearing. They were a distributor of bearings, motors, and other pieces of hardware used in machinery and such. He spent two tours of duty at an office that was literally a mile and a half from our house (in between he worked out of a warehouse in downtown Detroit). The second time around he was the Office Manager. Eventually he moved on to other companies and works mostly as a Purchasing Agent.

My Mom spent some time working at Target when I was older. I am not sure exactly when she started, but I think I was in high school at the time. Before that, she was a stay-at-home-mom, though babysat two different children at two separate times for teachers in the school district before working at Target. She eventually left Target, spent some time not working, then went to work with a store that sold jewelry and mementos (like one would find at a Hallmark shop). She left there a few years ago and has been in full-on Grandma mode since, though babysitting my nephew Braylen (Brian’s son) when they lived in Michigan, and then my niece Jordan (Todd’s oldest of two daughters).

What are your parents’ names, and what did you call them?

My Dad is Richard (Rich for short) and my Mom is Regina (Reg for short). And they always have been Mom and Dad to me. (Though sometimes when my sibs and I got older we might refer to my Mom as the Crazy Lady, but that was in a good humor way.)

Did you get along with your sibs?

For the most part, yes. I don’t ever remember us being at each others’ throats for extended periods of time. Sure, we had episodes when we weren’t happy with each other and fought, but the anger usually wore off quickly. We were always playing together, especially in the summer. Usually played a lot of baseball with two of the kids down the street, and one other from a few blocks away. Then eventually my best friend from school became all of our best friend (Kevin), and sometimes was joked by Jenn that he was a fourth brother.

Did you all have dinner together?

For the longest time, yes. As we got older and got involved in school sports (cross country and track for Todd and I, with Todd playing some basketball, and Brian involved in football and basketball) we ended up eating a lot of dinners by ourselves, or with a couple of empty seats.

Who sat where?

You can see the picture below. It was easier then explaining. Though the “L-shaped” thing represents two walls in the kitchen.

Jenn and I were always “battling” for elbow space, though she would say that I just kept pushing her further and further to the end of the table and it wasn’t a battle at all. ; )

Was the table square, rectangular or round? (This may seem like a peculiar question, but I’ve seen it, in person, be quite revealing.)

The picture is true, it was a rectangle, though it was made that way because of a leaf to accommodate the six of us.

On the playground, were you a bully, were you bullied, or did you manage to stay out of the fray?

I managed to stay out of the fray. Part of that came from trading food. And it’s not as bad as it sounds. One of the bullies in elementary school hated peanut butter. I hated jelly. So if we both were buying lunch that day, we would trade what we didn’t like to the other. I am not sure if that is what kept me from getting hassled by him, but he never did bother me.

In high school, I was almost in two fights. One I was innocently knocked into by a girl, and her boyfriend thought it was me that did it. She quickly pulled him aside and calmed him, talking him out of it. I seriously think what got him so agitated was that he was high. It was obvious seeing him at other times that he was on something at that moment.

The second time was through some disagreement with some other kid (who was not a bully). I honestly can’t remember why, though I know I thought it was stupid to begin with. But he wanted to fight after school. When I walked out the door to go to my car, there was a huge crowd waiting to see us fight. Thankfully there was also a police car parked down the road with two officers in it. It helped me talk him out of fighting.

What were your best and worst subjects in school?

I did very well in all my drafting type classes. I had them starting in 7th grade, and I don’t think I ever got lower then a B+. I also did very well and enjoyed American History. One of those classes was helped by having an excellent teacher.

One of the hardest classes I had, and struggled in, was my freshmen English class. It was mostly due to the teacher. But on the flip side, it was one of the best classes I had, teaching me just how hard I needed to work to do well in school. And though tough, Mrs. Warren was also one of the sweetest teachers I ever had. She seemed to be the perfect combination of elements to teach a high school class.

Calculus was the worst I ever did in a class. It was actually pre-calc. I struggled with a C- the first semester, and failed the second semester. It was the last half of my senior year. I remember my Dad not being upset that I failed. He just shook his had and said, “I don’t know why you took calculus to begin with.” The teacher (Mrs. Carson), or lack of, didn’t help. She caught pneumonia and spent part of four weeks in Florida. The substitute didn’t have a strong knowledge of calculus. However, we got some proof that Mrs. Carson wasn’t all that great of a teacher a couple of years later. If I remember correctly, my brother Todd struggled a bit in pre-calc with Mrs. Carson, but then did very well in later calculus classes with another teacher.

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My Dad asked the following questions:

Why do they put a round pizza in a square box?

My assumption has always been that it is easier/cheaper to manufacture a square box compared to a round box.

What place does a players name of MUDD hold in Red Wing history?

According to what I recently looked up, Modere “Mud” Bruneteau scored the goal that ended the longest playoff game in NHL history. While playing for the Wings in the first game of the semi-finals against the Montreal Maroons, Bruneteau scored at the 16:30 mark of the sixth overtime period to end the game. This was during the playoffs for the 1935-36 season, in which the Wings would eventually win their first of ten Stanley Cups.

For the record, Marcia and I watched a good portion of the third longest NHL game back on May 4, 2000 while living in Dayton, Ohio. (We gave up after three overtimes periods.) It was between the Philadelphia Flyers and the Pittsburgh Penguins. Red Wings fans’ favorite target of booing Keith Primeau ended that one in the fifth OT, but Marcia and I had long gone to bed by then.

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So there you have it. And like Marcia used to say, “I have spoken!”